Friends of the broken hearted

Everyone breaks up (everyone who dates that is). It’s just a part of life, and we all fawn over the devastated and let them sob on us and the like, but what we don’t talk about very often is the people behind the scenes and what they have to go through. I just went through a break up, actually I’d say I’m still going through it and I have many friends who are being an unbelievable web of support, I’d like to talk about what I’ve put them through in the last while and what I’ve heard others have had to go through. Within the first hour of the break up I had Anne come to my house bearing candy and treats and she sat with me and helped my drunk ass plant a herb garden for no apparent reason, She drove me to Coop to buy a chicken leg and some Chinese dumplings and then left me in the capable hands of the TV. My Roommate came home to me drunk and sobbing and covered in dirt from the garden and he didn’t even bat an eyelash, as far as I can remember (which is minimal) he asked as few questions as possible and gave me a wide girth of space. Within the first week I had 3 girlfriends rearrange plans so that I could have something to do and someone to talk to at all times. Anne emails me hourly. As a matter of fact today is the first day I haven’t heard from her before 9am since “the event”. What’s the deal Anne?? Think I’m all healed? GET IT TOGETHER WOMAN! I’m in pain over here! Speaking of which, I have been a rather demanding broken heat. Requiring laughter and friends and being quite dramatic (how out of character). I know that many people will spiral into a well of self loathing and inner pain, for me this means teenage angst returns and I feel like no one gets me and I walk around all misunderstood and dejected. Worst phase. Best phase is when I lose my mind completely and start dating someone immediately. I think this is the best! I’m not sad or mad, I’m on cloud 9! This person is great! And my friends are so lucky because they didn’t have to coach me through this, I’m so independent. What I don’t realize in my haze of infatuation is that my friends are stuck talking to and being nice to this complete idiot that I’ve attached myself to who is ridiculous enough to be my rebound. He probably picks his teeth and talks about himself nonstop, He might smell kind of funny and interrupt people when they aren’t talking about him. He probably talks too close to you and speaks in a baby voice or waves his pinky at me and I swoon for some godforsaken reason. I wear his jacket even when it’s not cold outside, we makeout at parties and don’t talk to anyone else. THEN, when I finally realize what I’ve gotten myself into I throw myself into a self loathing hate spiral and my friends have to pick me up from that. So, this time around I’m going to skip the insane rebound (if I can manage) and just dig my heals in. I’m in for a delightful summer of friends and fun and my vagina is on vacation! Thank you friends of the BH, I hope to be one of the best of you when I need to be.

Mile a minute

ok ok ok SO
I'm trying to cut a little sodium and fat out of my diet, so I go to the grocery and I have to spend ages looking at the backs of packages and reading all the ingredients, I HATE how something will say lean cuisine or something like that on it but really? not that good for you.
So when are you supposed to start eating healthy? I've never really been one of those "lose weight, watching my weight" kind of people, lucky metabolism draw I guess, but lately since I quit smoking I decided maybe a little lifestyle change is in order, problem is... I started working out and eating well when I wasn't working. Now I'm full time and I really don't see where I'm going to find the time to keep this all up.
Does anyone have suggestions for quick easy SODIUM FREE meals?
It's not TOO hard to find low fat stuff, but sodium free? gimme a break!
and working out!
oh man, I HATE hot yoga, I HATE it. don't stand there and tell me to "see what my emotional self's posture looks like today"!!!!
because she's going to jump out at you and punch the back of your head.
"every exercise can look graceful" !!!
eat me.
I leave hot yoga more stressed and angry than when I went. oh and I have an unlimited 6 month pass. well done me.
Also, part of growing up...
RSPs.
I have some from my old job, I had to move them because they were in something something and then blah blah, I don't understand.
SO
my question is, should I cash them out to pay off some of my debt? everyone's all like NO NO NO! taxes blah blah! don't omg do it!
but then I'm like, wouldn't it be better not to pay the interest on my debt and pay it off faster so that I can save up again? it makes sense to me?
maybe I'm not understanding this.
AND just so you know, since I started being healthy and all that? I've been grumpy and moody and I'm not even pregnant! what a waste of anger.
oh, and I don't think I'm very funny anymore, I'm pretty sure that's gone along with my sarcastic, single life, horribly patronizing way of looking at things.
WHAT HAPPENED TO ME!?
quick, someone get me a beer and a cigarette and something to clog my arteries.
It's been a long week.

one for my homie

When is it ok to steal a guys pen that you don’t know and throw it in the garbage? When he has an annoying habit of clicking it non-stop. My friend Murray has a new guys sitting next to her at work, and apparently he likes his clicky pens. He clicks all day and he’s driving her a little insane. She just told me that she actually stole his pen and threw it in the garbage because it was driving her nuts. However, he was undaunted by her attempts and peace and arrogantly went and got a new clicky pen from the supply closet! How DARE he? My thoughts exactly. She says her next step is to steal all the clicky pens available in the supply closet and bring non-clicky pens to his desk. I mean that just makes sense, I know I don’t have the Kahunas to turn around and ask him politely to stop clicking.
Therefore I pose this question to you, my sporadic and devoted readers, are you a mouth breather? And if you are, who do you think it’s annoying right now? Also, stop it.

New Years reso. start lying

Ok so it’s been a while. I’m a failure as a constant blogger.

I have constant thoughts though!

Like today, Jenny and I are e-chatting, and we’re all like “so we both hurt ourselves snowboarding” should we lie and make up a great interesting story about how we got hurt? Or should we tell the truth for comedic relief?

Turns out her and I need to stop telling the truth.

SO,

I went snowboarding this weekend, I’m REALLY good at it, and I was totally carving down this double black diamond like it was nothing right? And I go to hit a sick jump and do a catt flip back 360 inverted double spike gnarly hip snoogle right? And out of NOWHERE this baby moose comes trotting right in my way! So I try to stop and swerve off the side which happens to be a massive cliff with a 35 foot drop off and ended up spraining my wrist and breaking my bindings. It’s cool though, no big.

A note from the Editor

Dear Mr. Smellsalot,
It has come to the attention of some of the staff in your general area that you are lacking in the personal hygiene department.
Although this matter is not highly relevant to your work ethic it becomes a concern as the day goes on as a matter of importance to those around you.
Going forward please make a conscious effort to wear deodorant in the work place as it effects the productivity of those around you.
Thank you for your attention to the matter,
Management.

Mediocre post

There’s such a thing as being a good winner and a bad winner, as well as a good loser and a bad loser.

I think I’m in the middle of both, I don’t sulk when I lose, I try and take it all in stride, I think you have to learn to be that way when you’re me, I’m mediocre at pretty much everything… I’m not usually the worst (except for lawn darts, don’t ever play lawn darts with me because even though you’ll win, I’ll probably end up throwing the dart backwards and somehow injuring you) I’m also not usually the best. I start out trying and then something clicks off in my brain, my competitive side has become listless and apathetic, where did you go competitive side??? You used to be so boiling hot and angry all the time! That’s what made me a bad loser and a bad winner though.

Now I’m neutral.

I’m always up for a game though, any game really. If you really want to see me lose challenge me to Wii, anything Wii, for some reason I just don’t get this new technology. What do you mean if I move the thing on the screen moves? How does that even happen? Maybe I just need more practice. I think I need to practice quietly in my basement away from the pressures and distractions of friends.

The only thing I get really into these days is hockey, for some reason when I root for my team it’s like a life or death situation, I feel so much pain and anguish when we lose. I feel so elated and fantastic when we win, and I say WE because it’s US, I’m playing too. I’m playing for pride and glory and smack talk. The feelings last for days whatever the outcome!

Which brings me to ponder, if I played hockey would I be more competitive? I think this winter season I should try it. I live in a community with no less than 6 outdoor rinks. Easily available to me at any time. I have no excuse, I must play, I must get better at stick handling (pun intended), must must must.

Hey, “must” is one of those words that if you say it over and over again it stops making sense. Kinda like milk. Go figure.

We’ll end it there, I think that’s more than enough thought for a Friday.

Happy Turkey Day!

So this year I’ve been left to fend for myself Turkey-wise, Mum went to Osoyoos to see the Salmon who are missing and Dad took off to Toronto to spend time with family… what am I? chopped liver?
Anyway, I’m being a touch dramatic, Brother, cousin and the G-units are still here. I get a full blown turkey dinner tomorrow, but I can’t be left out of what I’ve discovered to be the “orphans thanksgiving”. Cousin told me about it last year, it’s where young adults get together and celebrate thanksgiving together because their parents don’t live in the same city, however, in true Generation WHY style we are too LAZY to cook anything and clean it up. Answer? Swiss chalet.
Genius. Pure brilliance. And so, this year because I truly feel left out in the cold by my parents I’ve called up a friend who I know to love swiss chalet and we have plans on Sunday to hang out in our pajamas and watch movies, eat swiss chalet and most likely drink and eat pie. In a completely selfish sense I’m almost more excited about Sunday than I am about the turkey dinner! No cleaning, no forced awkward conversations with my G-units senile friends that don’t remember my name… instead I get alcohol, movies and pajamas.
Don’t get me wrong! I love my family more than anything else, but I also love my friends and my down time and my chicken. That’s right, dirty little secret, I’d take chicken over turkey anyday.

FoooooooooooD

I know I write a lot about food, but seriously, who DOESN’T like food? Everyone likes food.
Today a couple of girlfriends and I are going to Japanese village for lunch. For 2 of them it will be their first time, I’m not going to lie, I revel in ripping restaurant virginity from my friends. If there’s one thing I know, it’s food, I steal all my Mamas suggestions, she’s the BEST at finding these little places. Japanese Village isn’t exactly top secret, but it’s not somewhere that a ton of people would really think to go.
So we’re headed there for lunch. I’ll get the filet mignon because it’s only $13 at lunch time! It’s so worth it if you’re like me and you can only go once a month. Ahhhhh.
But I digress, what I was originally going to say is that lunch time is coming EVER so slowly today! Why? Just because I’m waiting impatiently??? That just doesn’t make sense. Why does time go so slowly when something fabulous is coming!? And then when you’re doing the fabulous thing, like eating… time FLIES by.
I also must say on a completely off note, that 2 of my best friends in the world are vegetarians, so I’ve begun to think like one, in the planning of meals aspect, because our favorite thing to do it eat and laugh. We end up doing this very often, so in order to accommodate me they use tofu and fake meat, so in order to accommodate them I must find recipes that don’t have any meat. I admit, at first I was skeptical that anything could taste good without meat. OH HOW WRONG I WAS! We had a finger painting party on Tuesday and Kyla made Vegan Chili! It was DIVINE! Anne came by and we made fresh veggie soup with veg from her Moms garden and I mouthgasmd! It was amazing. So you see? I can be wrong… I think that’s the point of this whole post, is admitting that I was wrong. Once.

A Poem for Lilia

Rated R for language and content.
you have been warned;

Purple Kitten eating Unicorns
By Asha Stasiulis-Chen-See


Deep in the forest
Purple unicorns reside
They’re sick little fuckers
That eat kittens by the by

They’ll rip of that fur
And nom the meat from those bones
They’ll spit out the eyes
And mash the intestines with stones

These Purple Unicorns
No person should fear
For they only eat kittens
At humans they leer

So dread not dear reader
If it’s Unicorn attention you crave
They won’t harm your flesh
Just make you their sex slave.

Things that are coloured.

Oh colourful things how I love you!
You cheer up my world, when I’m feeling blue.
Highlighter, crayons, and post it notes too!
Without your brightness I don’t know what I’d do.

When the skies are a gloomy gray
And their sadness seeps into my heart to stay
I get a bag of skittles and I say without delay
“I love colours and skittles Hooray!”

So when you have the grumps,
You think you’re down in the dumps.
Take a look around at the colours you see
And you’re day will be brighter, just like me…umm mine, um my day. Is brighter.

A letter from the editor.

Dear office air conditioner,
It has come to my attention that you are indeed very good at your job, you are effective to the very nth degree. I am currently so cold that I cannot feel my hands. Well done.
If you don’t mind, would you please lay the FUCK off? I had hot soup for lunch. It’s 32 degrees outside. I shaved my legs this morning, you wouldn’t be able to tell that now…
Thank you,
Management

Everything's just Tickyboo!

What the heck does that even mean?
I’ve had this conversation a million times with a million different people, ok I’ve had it a million different times with probably about 6 different people. What DOES it mean?
I mean I know there are sayings out there that come from things that USED to happen. Like raining cats and dogs, it comes from when roofs were made of straw and cats and small creatures used to get up there and hide in the straw because it was warm, and then when it would rain really hard the straw would get slippery and the cats would fall off the roof. But what about the dog part? How do dogs get up there? And it’s not really in a dogs nature to cuddle up in some straw on a roof anyway. Is it?
What about that’s the cats pajamas? The bees knees? Bees don’t have knees you silly people!

Wednesday Worries...

Modern women… BAH!
Being modern is SO confusing these days. We’re supposed to be independent, we’re supposed to want careers and be driven and have personality and look good and rock out, party and have a sensitive side, we can want kids, or we can not want kids, it’s up to us now. We should work out, be skinny, but eat whatever we want. Wait what?
We want to be swept off our feet. “no girl wakes up thinking I hope I’m NOT swept off my feet today”. We want to be taken on dates, I’m so surprised at how many of my guy friends are shocked that my girls and I have probably been on 4 dates, all put together. Well boys, you don’t exactly take us on dates these days do you? It’s group hangouts, to a number exchange, to texting 20 questions, to e-stalking, whether it be facebook, google, myspace, we e-stalk each other, then we sext. Then after a drunken night with a big group we end up alone together for the first time. There’s not date after that, we’re too busy, you’re too busy, with work and sports, school, family, other friends. Our dates turn into Tuesday night tv and falling asleep on the couch at 9.
All this is just a sign of the times though. I think… everything’s changing around me, I want things to just fall into my lap, but it’s not going to happen, I’m part of a generation that expects everything to just happen, but it doesn’t. I need to grow some balls and go after what I want. It’s time to stop being afraid of what might happen because I know that I can handle whatever might happen. Or at least Mummy will help me…
In conclusion, this is just a bunch of thoughts that hit me this morning, all I really want is a bag of 5 cent candies when I have a bad day, a hug and kiss at least every 3 days, and to laugh, every day, at least once an hour when I’m not sleeping. Too much?

Memories and lessons

I remember in grade 10 when I was walking to school one day, early in my high school career. There were 2 girls walking behind me, I was wearing a brand new outfit that my Mum had bought me especially for school, it was a nice black skirt and grey cardigan and mary jane shoes, I had pretty socks on too, even though I was wearing black shoes, they were white socks, but I liked them. I now realize how silly I probably looked, but at the time I thought they were a nice touch. Very MJ. Well! The 2 girls behind me started making fun of me, really loudly and pointing and laughing at my outfit, it destroyed me, it totally broke my heart. From that point on I completely conformed, I only wore what other girls wore, I was a fashion victim to the nth degree. I refused to deviate from the strict conformity.
About a year ago I started wearing white socks with my black shoes again, because my feet get cold. My friends teased me again, but I found I didn’t care, and neither did they, they accepted my odd ways with love and found it endearing. That’s what real friends do, they make fun of you and then tell you they love you, and your white socks. Don’t ever underestimate the power of horrible fashion sense. With inner permission from 10th Grade Asha I will begin to wear side ponytails and tie dye again, because she deserves to shine, in every way possible.
Oh and those girls? The mean ones? I bet they’re fat and ugly now.
Ps. They were totally band geeks.

A little nothing really.

Just because I haven't written in a while I feel as though I need to say a little bit of something, the problem is I can't think of anything to say really.
There's a girl that sits near me who chews really loudly and I can hear her eating chips, I can actually tell what she's eating every time she eats, I can tell when it's a sandwich because of the squishy sound, I can tell when it's carrots because of the snap. I also get the pleasure of hearing her blow her nose and swear at her computer. oh GodLIZza, I owe you so much.
One day she was annoying me so much that I swept my hands all over my desk and knocked everything over just to make more noise than she was. It worked until she asked me if I was ok... then I felt bad.
She's actually very nice.
Another thought that goes through my head is; sometimes I wish I were a guy, because they can pee standing up and I think that's cool! (GodLizza "NOM NOM") I also think that having facial hair might be fun somethimes! Every now and then Murray and I stroke our invisible beards.
("CHOMP CHOMP")
Also, this weekend when Christine and Murray and I were in Canmore we went into the 2nd hand bookstore and found a book called "what are drugs?" it's a kids book, and it was really disturbing, it had a whole page dedicated to Cocaine. I should have bought it, I still regret not buying it. So if you're ever in Canmore's 2nd hand (CHOMP NOM) bookstore please go into the kids section and look for it. It's only $2.50, totally worth it.

CHOMP NOM CHOMP CRUNCH CHOMP... OMG.....

Dear Calgary Transit

scene;
it's 4pm on a Tuesday, I'm ready to pack it in and call 'er a day!
grab my hoodie and head for the door, it's POURING rain... what? it was sunny at 3:58, shrug it off, it's Calgary after all.
No problem! I pull out my umbrella that I carry everywhere with me!
one step outside and the wimpy thing blasts inside out. oh my.
well, at least I have a hood, so I pull that over my head and half run half slip towards the c-train platform. I make it! ALIVE!
the platform is packed, even more so than usual, first train isn't mine, it looks so dry and empty in there! so welcoming, but it's McKnight, I need Somerset.
so I let it pass, watching it go, longingly.
Next train is mine! it's pretty full already, add the people on the platform and it's like I apparated to China transit, but the lovely driver announces that there's another train right behind him that's TOTALLY EMPTY!
well! that settles it! I get off and I'll wait a minute.
so the next train comes... it's not empty. not even a little bit empty! that lying bastard!
Well I can't wait any longer or I'll miss my adjoining bus.
So I squish on, I end up right next to a sweet looking nurse (I can tell she's a nurse 'cause she's wearing nurse grubs, or whatever their called)
well, the sun is out, and now it's unusually warm in the train, plus everyone is wet from the downpour, so it's humid too, which works wonders on my sinus cold. All of a sudden my nose starts to tingle... I can feel it start to run.
I grab the handy tissue that I put in my pocket earlier just in case.
It turns out one tissue was no match for the waterfall freeing itself from my nose...
and of course the nurse is not fooled, I'm obviously sick, nurses know! they ALWAYS KNOW!!!
trying really hard not to drip on her we're nearly at my stop... just as I start to get excited about getting off the train the unthinkable happens!!! I'm struck with the intense need to sneeze.
Now friends, if I sneeze no less than 10 people in my immediate vicinity will be showered with nose water and germs. I have one hand on the bar and one hand holding my purse, no blockage in sight!! so I scrunch my face up as hard as I can, almost blinking out my left contact lens. I'm sure I look amazingly sexy.
FREEDOM! my stop! I shove a little old lady out of my way as I gasp for air.
Now off the train I sniff, because I'm out of tissue. The loudest most disgusting sniffle of all time. it's a crowd stopper.
Off I hurry to catch my bus!
only to discover...glory Hallelujah!!! I've missed all 3 possible buses!
So I stand back and wait, while waiting in the nice warm sun I'm approached by what I can only imagine to be 2 homeless people, they do not speak to me, they mearly stand within my personal bubble and begin to kiss. Then they start to ravish each other!
I step back, somewhat disgusted. I step directly on an old milk carton, discarded, half full, in the hot summer sun.
It explodes all over my shoes and tights. sour milk.
yum.
oh look! the bus is here!
I am lucky enough to get a seat! right next to 3 of the nerdiest boys I've ever seen, don't get me wrong, I love nerds! I AM a nerd. But these ones smell... their body odor is so intense that I actually miss the single smell of sour milk.
These boys seem to have just purchased what look like metal claws that hook to your finger! excitement! they spend the time scratching each other with their metal fingers and shrieking at each other, which I can only imagine is what they think dragons must sound like?
Oh look! an open seat! away from the smell!
I plop down next to a sweet looking girl and her 1 year old son.
The son takes one look at me and starts to HOWL. He hates me. he hates me more than pain. More than starvation.
I stand back up, run to the front of the bus and wait for my stop, far away from anything and anyone.
When the doors open I practically tumble out into the sun, excited that I don't have to go through that again for 14 hours.

Nerves at 25?

Do I still get nervous? Really?
Apparently the answer is yes, I do.
I had lunch today in the lunch room, which I never do, being the secluded type, you know me...
I prefer no human contact and therefore sit at my desk during lunches and read tfln.com even though I know them all off by heart.
Today I was dragged kicking and screaming away from my safe haven by lifes evil temptress "Shopping", also accompanying L.E.T. was our fab HR girl Keagan. Hence my attempts at a social life through work.
After the shopping however, that's where it just gets awkward...
Keagan sits in the lunch room at lunch time, she is sociable and easy to talk to, everyone knows Keagan. No one Knows me, I like to think I'm the elusive and mysterious pretty girl that works in trucking that no one knows anything about...
I single handedly managed to rid myself of this made up fable in a less than half hour period of time.
I was awkwardly sitting in this HUGE chair and I could barely reach my food. There was no room on the one side of the table so I got stuck facing everyone… alone… my hands were shaking as I was trying to eat. I barely said 2 words, Keagan could tell I was nervous as hell. I had nothing to say, I barely made eye contact with anyone. I tried to leave at 12:30 but I couldn’t think of a valid excuse, so I just sat there awkwardly, not eating because I was just too nervous to eat. You think it would have been cute, but I just feel dumb. They were talking about Vegas, I’ve never been, so I just sat there and looked at the wall because the TV was behind me.
It was magic. The entire thing made me feel like I should learn exactly what dungeons and dragons really means.

Answers for Anne

I am horribly disappointed I haven't given you quote worthy advice. Also, mmm... purple popsicles! Also, also - if you ask Bill Gates for money, could you maybe put a P.S. at the end of your letter that mentions Anne Baxter?Okay - time for a question.Dear Ask Asha Blargh,Last night I had a dream that I was bitten by a werewolf and I was concerned that my vampire lover would no longer want me. Also, I was in a really bad mood at one point and was going to eat a large brownie with icing on it and my mom gave me a look and I got mad and threw the brownie away. What do you think this means? Also, have any weird dreams lately you'd care to share?

Dear Karma,
you HAVE given me quote worthy advice!
Things like;
" My God you're brilliant and pretty"
"I like the freckle on my lip"
"let's eat"
"ooohhhhh being drunk is good!"
these are all very useful tips in my life!

As far as your dream goes, from what I've read vampires don't really like the smell of werewolves, so I think you're effed. Go for Jacob, he's a stud! Edward's kind of gay.

Was this brownie fiasco a dream? or real life? because the one episode of sex and the city that I caught some girl ate some of a brownie, threw it out, then picked it up out of the garbage and ate more. Then she poured dishwasher soap on it so she wouldn't take it out again. You sound better off than her, I'd say all you really need to overcome your issue is a house hippo, those bring endless joy.

I haven't really remembered my dreams as of late, except one, although it's not something I'd normally share....
So in my dream there's this dude... (there's always a dude) and he was TOTALLY going to KISS me! omg. right?
so I lean in for the kiss... and then I drool on him. He looks up, shocked, and I wake up and realize I just drooled all over my pillow.
Feeling like a total winner I roll over and try to recapture the dream, didn't even flip my pillow, that's what hair is for, covering up...

Case of the Mondays

I have a case of the Mondays. Maybe I should look into working construction or embezzling millions of dollars from Bill Gates.
Do you think that if I wrote Bill a letter explaining that I would like a little bit of money because I need it he would respond with a personalised cheque? Maybe it's woth a shot...
Sometimes I feel like Mondays are an extended hangover of the weekend, even if I didn't drink at all, I just feel bummed and blue, maybe gray, not blue.
I have things to look forward to though! so let us all focus on those.
Tonight I'm meeting all the people that I will be houseboating with on the 21st. Tomorrow I have a date with my friend Kat! we will most likely go to east side Marios because it's got delicious calamari. Wednesday is beer and tacos Wed! so I took Hungover Thursday off of work. Thursday night is the Kings of Leon concert!!!! floor seats. Palabra. Then it's Friday, and although I have no solid plans I'm sure something (or someone) will come up. Haha.
So it's really not so bad. Some advice people gave me over the years;
"Nothing good ever happens when you're down" - Gstar
"If you're bored it's because you're a boring person" - Ken can'trememberhislastname
"If you look for the bad in people, you'll surely find it" - Pollyanna (via Hayley Mills)
"Happiness is only one purple Popsicle away" - Me

I'm going to buy me a purple Popsicle on the way home today, I'll probably eat candy for dinner just 'cause I can, and laugh at a friends rerun. Stoked on getting pumped.

Fall in Summer

Well! I think that sometimes you can combine one fruit and one vegetable into a single dish and it might be delicious! Normally I like to keep mine separate, I'm one of those people who need everything on their plate separated, if my rice is touching my salad... I get the heebee jeebees just thinking about it.
There are exceptions however! such as cold cucumbers on pepperoni pizza! in this case the pizza would act as the fruit.
or, frozen blueberries and cream! the cream being the vegetable.
Also a delicious treat; celery and peanut butter!
All in all I believe I've proven my point.

Now readers I would like to pose a question to you!
If you could be a super hero what would your super spandex colours be and why?
I myself would pick yellow and green and maybe some purple for the A emblem. because I love yellow, and green AND purple. yup.