Neglected Duties

he he duties....
uhhhh, ok dear readers, I apologize for not paying more attention to my blog.
I have no excuses except it was hot outside and I was having too much fun with that.
HARRY POTTER
The 6th movie, Harry Potter and the half blood prince.
Was by far the best movie yet, it followed the book so closely! it made all my wildest dreams regarding magic come true! mind you they left out the Roonil Wazlib part, and I did laugh out loud at that in the book, but if that's my only complaint!? good work.
CAMPING
went camping last weekend for a lovely 4 weekend getaway, I'm not telling you where it was because it's a secret and if everyone goes there then it will get ruined. And also I want you to take me with you if you ever attempt to go. I got eaten alive by mosquitoes and had to hike up a river to get to the camp, there were bears and giant wasps, but I battled them all to overcome! ok actually I mostly layed in a serene lake on a floaty or on the rocks.
Again, sorry this is rushed but unforeseen circumstances have arisen (we got a new flavoured Slurpee in the lunch room) I must go!
Asha

Ho Hum

What a dreary and sad type of Monday. It's only fitting that I find Plain White T's on my ipod. It's like the whole city gets hungover after stampede is over. On the upside all the douchey girls and guys can't wear their cowboy hats anymore. (myself included).
So what's left to do in Calgary now that the foreigners have left with their cameras and their maps and the grounds once again look barren and lonely?
HARRY POTTER PEOPLE!!!! it's out on Wednesday. I have my tickets! do you?
I'ma geek out for a minute.....
It's Harry Potter and the half blood prince and I'm personally looking forward to a little darker side of the magic. We'll see how it goes, I'll give you my personal review on Thursday.
Then again maybe not until Monday as I'll be out of town on a big fancy excursion for exclusive bloggers.
goooooooing camping with some friends. Word. Palabra.

Things I'd like to yell at people

karmap0lice said...
I wants a spring rolllllll...Dear Ask Asha Blargh,Sometimes I get sentimental thinking about all nighters. What's the longest you've gone without sleep?

Dear Karma,
I would like to tell you that the longest I've gone without sleep was just in the last few days because I'm uncharacteristically grumpy right now.
However, I went to bed at a very decent time last night.
I think the longest I've gone without sleep was less than 48 hours, and that was when I was just little, you know? when you were physically ABLE to stay up? now I cannot. I will fall asleep whether I want to or not roughly every 3 hours. I'm not narcoleptic, I just get bored alot.

SINCE I am grumpy I'd like to discuss people.
Aren't people stupid? here is a list of things I'd like to yell at them.
- don't block the sidewalk/escalator/door while I'm walking here, you may not be in a hurry but I want a cinnamon bun!
- you can't wear neon tights with jeans skirts!
- 17th Ave is not a safe haven for sluts! put your pants on.
- just because the whole city is happy doesn't mean I have to be!
- I'm sick of Jack Johnson!
- I know it was YOU that farted
- give me all your money!
- stop talking about yourself!
there's more but I got side tracked and I've lost my train of thought.

Asha

Stampede Retaliation

ok ok, I get the hostility. I didn't mean to insult by any means. I love this city, I'm a Calgary girl through and through. My short stint in Toronto proves it. ALL I was saying was that I was lacking the usual excitement and that the stampede was missing something FOR ME this year. Besides. shut up. this is MY blog. I can talk about anything I like. such as;
Jen Hard Knoxx Cheng leaves today for Istanbul and I think EVERYONE should check out jetsetzero.tv because she's gonna be on there soon.
ALSO
I'm going for Pho for lunch. I'm thinking soup, but undecided as it's fairly warm outside and that could be a bad choice, I may have the vermicelli noodles. With spring rolls. Delish!

Vita Mix, how I love thee

Happy Monday readers!

I'm gonna write about the Stampede... I think I'm one of the few people in this city who can openly discuss their Stampede experience under the age of 60. Everyone else is being scandalous. Aren't you?
Ok, so I've lived here my whole life. Born and raised Calgarian, I've never missed a stampede... however, I feel it's becoming more of an obligatory tradition than a fun one. I haven't missed one, so I can't EVER miss one, but this year it just didn't feel the same. The excitement wasn't there, the heart pounding, toe tingling sensation I get when I see all those carts lined up ready to give me food, all those real live infomercials in the round up centre... specifically the Vita Mix.
The Vita Mix is a blender, it makes hot soup because the friction from the blade heats the ingredients to 180 degrees after 15 minutes, it's entirely waterproof, it cleans itself, you can even make instant ice cream! it's the only instant ice cream maker on the market. I go there every year to watch the demonstrations. It's the best part of the stampede (in my opinion).
I love the food, I love the rides, I love the games, I love the rodeo! But when you're paying $5 for a bottle of water, $14 entrance, $6 for one ride, $5 for any given game just to win a stuffed toy that will end up at the thrift store in less than a month.... the free samples from the Vita mix are looking better and better.
To own a Vita mix it will cost you $500. SO, I have until my birthday to make 50 friends who will give m $10 each so that I can keep it in an envelope. Next year, I'm going to march right through those stampede gates (after giving them the raised price of $15) and hand over my saved envelope to the vita mix team. I want a red one.
All in all, I'll take the fun party atmosphere and the good natured people every year, without the cost.
Also, next year around this time I'll be having a vita mix party, with your help. Please donate to my Asha wants a vita mix so bad it hurts fund.
Thanks peoples.

Dear Salmon Bento Box

Dear Salmon Bento Box,

I would like to inform you that from 9:30am this morning I've been yearning to microwave you so that I could eat you. I've been very hungry today. So when 11:30 finally came around and I felt it was appropriate to cook something in the microwave here at work I went straight out and did just that.

HOWEVER

The microwave in our kitchen is broken so I had to take you to the other kitchen which is not so much far as it is inconvenient.

nonetheless I did it. I had to come back to my desk and count for 4 minutes and then go back, at which point you were cooked. I opened the microwave to uncover my delicious food that I had been waiting 2 hours to make to get hit in the face with the most offensive fish smell in the universe.

HOW DARE YOU NOT BE FRESH?

I'm hungry, I waited patiently, I walked distances!!!!

and now, i ate half the rice, all the veggies and the dumpling, and I'm STILL HUNGRY and I don't like stinky salmon.

So NOW what the heck am I supposed to do? all I have are almonds and carrot sticks and they don't fill me up. I have to waste time walking around trying to find food? is that what I'm supposed to do? that seriously cuts into my reading Harry Potter slash textsfromlastnight.com time.

In conclusion, you're a giant let down bento box. I'll be surprised if I ever buy you again.

Asha

ps. please tune in next week for Dear Chicken bento box.